Travel King.

Dear Loyal Subjects,

Your King of Crayons has made a week-long venture to visit nobility in a neighboring kingdom. Sadly, said kingdom does not have a computer that his handy thumb drive is compatible with, so it is with a heavy heart that I declare there shall be no new posts until Monday, February 1st. I know, it shall be hard to go on with your daily existences with an entire week void of laughter, but I didn't declare myself king of a kingdom of quitters. Actually, I don't even know what that means. So, until next week, keep your collective chins up and I shall rejoin you shortly.

XOXO,
King of Crayons

Better Living Through Phallic Imagery!

Is there anything this man can't do?

Royal Sidenote: This particular page was actually a two-page spread of Supahman stopping a missle (an apparently squishy one), with the other page being the shaft of said missle. Your Royal Highness finds no humor in breast cancer, but I do find this image fucking hilarious. The End.

Goofy: The Golden Years.

I find those commercials featuring the cartoon bears talking about which toilet paper to use highly disturbing. I too, am apparently disturbed.

We interrupt all established feelings of trust and whimsy to bring you this dose of raw, filthy reality.

Ain't I a stinker?

Back when Scooby Doo first aired it wasn't uncommon for toddlers to hit the pipe while mom dropped horse tranquilizers and spun around slowly outside.

Most high schools try to teach flowers about safe pollination. Just be smart Hibiscus, wrap that stamen up, yo.

I don't know what upsets me more about this picture, the loss of innocence or the fact that phone doesn't have a cord.

You didn't think they called him "Goofy" because he was clumsy, did you? Seriously though, don't let him watch your kids.

I like to believe in a world where rabbits can live long, fulfilling lives and aspire to be things like dentists. I also like violence.

Many men lost their lives in the Mines of Velveeta, others perished under the grueling, yet non-tanning, orange sun of Egypt World.