He also cured the book's numb back cover by simply having it talk its problems out with him. I think he called the process "Reading."

A whole book of gorillas, and not a single one throwing feces or mauling a tourist. Lame.

Red Tornado is an android but one time he became a human and then Solomon Grundy ate his hand. True story.

Don't let their pirate-like ways fool you, they're actually Swedish.

Ironically, "cat" is the only option available to me through my current medical plan. I need a hero.

It's revisionist shit like this that makes me regret ever naming my dog "Leia."

The best laid plans of mice and men and Marty Simmons, the small man in the headband who wanted nothing but Doritos. It's not fair. Nope.

Kicking A Dead Horse Productions presents: Matrix Babies. Rated R.

The triumphant return of excessive gore!

This alligator just managed to put on a jacket and he's so proud, but no, all you can do is stare at his raging hard-on. You make me sick.