Most high schools try to teach flowers about safe pollination. Just be smart Hibiscus, wrap that stamen up, yo.

I don't know what upsets me more about this picture, the loss of innocence or the fact that phone doesn't have a cord.

You didn't think they called him "Goofy" because he was clumsy, did you? Seriously though, don't let him watch your kids.

I like to believe in a world where rabbits can live long, fulfilling lives and aspire to be things like dentists. I also like violence.

Many men lost their lives in the Mines of Velveeta, others perished under the grueling, yet non-tanning, orange sun of Egypt World.

Merry X-Men!

Nestle's campaign for the new bat-villain seems to have no end, like some sorta everlasting candy, or something.

Ironically Mr. Smythe had sold his entire groin area to buy Alphonse a pubic brush. Someone mentioned "magi" and they were both burned at the stake.

Fact: Funnville boasts the highest suicide rate in the tri-county area. Also, Bedtime Bear will give you half off a Cloud Job for mentioning this ad!

Royal decree: I am well aware of the fact I color Care Bears incorrectly. Future complaints should be directed to our newly appointed Minister of Who Gives A Fuck?

While Moses may have had a camel that transformed into a van, Pharoah had a pyramid that turned not only into a jet, but also a submarine.